The Final Countdown...

Isn't it strange how time can bend around places? Like a particular city or location can make you feel as though every day is light and free, and another leaves you feeling as though all of your mental belongings are stacked into badly organised "to-do" piles.

The last two weeks have been much more of the latter than the former, and the piles of things to finish/start are real.

Bee, Wazza and I left Newcastle seperately, on a Sunday just over two weeks ago. Our final season of Good Clean Fun opened on the Wednesday in Melbourne, and i was desperate to get out of Newcastle, which had taken a dip into bad vibe territory. TINA this year just seemed to lack something of the explosive, public excitement that i've felt about it previously, and i was pretty keen to be back in HellBourne to sleep in a bed and see my grrl..

So i fanged down the highway at a ridiculous speed hoping to do the 1000kms in a quick two day ride. I didn't quite count on running across the police officer who chased me down on the freeway, however, who slapped me with a $700 fine for my trouble, while aggressively talking about himself in the third person. "You can't fool Phil! You can't fool Phil!"

With the wind taken out of my sails, i headed on to the next petrol station so that i could stop shaking. After a rather unfortunately timed conversation with my lass, it became clear that this day was just going to keep getting worse. Broken hearted, and now plain broke, with the added fear of losing my motorcycle license, i sloped into Gundegai in the early evening to the Criterion Hotel.

Gundegai is well known in popular Australian culture for being the home of several bush anthems, including a Banjo Patterson poem, and the country classic "On the Road to Gundegai". The locals there were big, drunk and friendly - my favourite type! I proceeded to get horribly drunk by myself, while chainsmoking and watching Rush Hour 3. Aaaaah to let one's sorrows slip away.

If only - the next day was incredibly harsh and promised nothing more exciting than another 500km ride down to Melbourne. But I made it. Haven't paid the fine, though we mended the hearts in question with some flowers and cake and hot make up sex... :D

To cut a long story short, the last two weeks since being back home in Melbourne have been utterly ridiculous. It took me a week to unpack my bag, and i'm still trying to get a grip on the things i feel need doing. However it's festival time here in Hell-Bourne, and when one is broke, the work comes first! Good Clean Fun was great, in the old Bar Open space. The smell of that place is incredible - like an electrical fire caused by teenage desire mixed with jagermeister. I love it. Apparently they have footage of the naked mosh pit that we started last May to the sounds of local band Flap! I'm in the process of squeezing it out of them for all our enjoyment, and our documentary! Haha. Thanks to the Bar Open staff for our "rider" and thanks to everyone who came to see the show - especially you beautiful people who came back to see it for the second time! 

...

In retrospect what we took on with this tour was enormous. 8 cities, 6 different festivals/producers, 3 full seasons of the show, and dozens of other gigs, over just 6 weeks, with 2 motorcycles, 1 incredible stage manager/absent minded treasure hunter, an old white van, a little bit of money from floggin grog at our fundraiser, and several hundred posters (and subsequent complaints). I think the main thing that strikes me about it, although i'm still having trouble actually digesting what the hell we just pulled off, is that never in a million years could it have happened without the incredible friends and supporters that we met and made along the way. The idea of DIY is favorite organizational concept of mine (sometimes to my own detriment), but what i now realise is that Doing It Yourself often means finding other people out there who care about the same things as you, and asking for their help. And when it works out that your crazy beautiful anarchist punk carni theatre company wreaks havoc across the country with the help of that many incredibly generous and attractive individuals an communities, it's a powerfully real feeling.

And it is with that feeling of reverence and humility that we would like to announce that the following folks have been made honorary members of the Caravan of Dooom in respect of their services. (We'll expect your membership fees within the normal 30 day invoice period...)

Membership to the Caravan of Dooom is incredibly exciting! Comes with extra arse!

- Edda for her work putting on two incredible gigs for us to terrorise in Lismore and Byron Bay

- Pappa Rohie for donating his shed to be used as a Dooom clubhouse and tattoo parlour

- Tricky for the tatt!

- George and Jenny for welcoming us in to their beautiful home in Brisbane, which we subsequently turned into a tattoo parlour and clubhouse (theres a pattern here somewhere). And just for being such fucking excellent people - breaking into Dreamworld, pashing all of us during the show and being hot!

- Julz, for similar reasons as above!

- Britt Guy at the Brisbane festival for making it all happen.

- Amy for being such excellent company as official tour buddy and sound engineer, even if she never listened (deliberately i feel) to a word we said, she still turned out to be the most on to it one of us all!

- Gemma, Luke and everyone at the Hutch for showing such an incredible and unexpected amount of support and love while we were in Sydney - i.e. doing our lights, organising us places to stay, letting us perform with you, and getting us wasted!

- Jessie, James, Steve and Luke at the Barn, again for so happily taking us into their house and sharing it with us like it was ours. Especially for their coffee machine! Yeah! James for getting wasted at three in the morning on a monday and waking me up by rolling around in our star costume smashing our show props, you dog! Jessie for carrying the scars of trying to surprise Wazza. Steve for his incredible drunken repertoire while i was trying to get him a job making films.

(M - yeah you should speak to this guy, he;s got an HD camera and he's really great.

Hey Steve, did you get some good footage of our show?

S - What tdha FUCK did jyou jus say to me?

M - Um, what? I said did you get some good footage of our show?

S - What the FUCK do you thingk man? I'm a fugging PROFESSHIONALEl! ... nah come here man, i love jyoo - actually i got a close up of Wazza's puckering arsehole - in HD! Best camera work EVA!)

I still crack up thinking about that.

- Si for his tireless work and dedication to the Boho Ball.

- To Blue for stepping up so valiantly into such a big role, and absolutely kicking arse, all the way to the emergency ward. We are eternally in your debt. (incidentally she had her operation, and she's looking much better - Bee's Uncle did it for her out in the burbs...)

- Luke, Darius and Aiko for making us look the best we have ever looked in any medium - the work that these three have been putting out is amazing!

- The Barons of Tang! But you all knew that already...

- George the Bus Driver for having the best smile in the business, and a beautiful voice..

- Ash for spending a whole morning in the kitchen singing songs from the albums of our childhood - basically every great track from every Hottest 100 that you ever owned. Thanks to you i now know what generational nostalgia feels like. I'm not sure if thats a good thing though...

- Bernard for being a smashingly drunk party fiend.. ;) you know what i'm talking about - just let it sink in.

- Simone O'Brien for ruining the carpet while fondling my testicles - you should be ashamed of yourself!

- Kira, KatAttack, Knives (the triple K), Dangerboy, and Murray from the Morrow Park for putting up with dozens of house guests during TINA

- Simone Sheridan at TINA for being a good sport (Nervous smile)

- Simone, Sean, Carlos, Zhia, Bee, George and all the rest of you drunken louts who embarrassed us at our birthday party. You're not getting any christmas cards this year you hear?!

- Actually Simone again for being such good quality all weekend - you rock girl!

- to Jasper and Steph for postering in our absence, and to Boon, Zhia, Brighid, Ikor and Theo for running our door.

- And to Phoebe for coming home to get wasted at Bar Open with us, where you belong!!!!

My apologies if i forgot anyone. Try harder next time. hehehe

...

In fact this may be the last post here for a while - the Caravan is having some time off for the rest of the year. Although of course, knowing us Time Off hardly means relaxing. Last week Wazzadeeno left for Vietnam to see his Mum, and he's planning to go through Pakistan and Iran with the only other man crazy enough to try it on camera - Thomas Henning. Our thoughts and prayers are with them. Cat is working on the stencils for her upcoming exhibition, which is wicked exciting! And like the work-a-holic i am, Captain Ruin is well and truly being a festival slut. The three projects which i'm most excited about at the moment are

- going to Taiwan to perform with the Snuff Puppets

- Spruiking for the Carnival of Mysteries, a show in the Arts Festival

- and being the Artistic Director for a Sideshow midway at the Village Festival in Edinburgh Gardens!

While I'm on the subject of good shit, our final two gigs for the year promise to be rippers!

First there's the penultimate Boho Ball on the 23rd of October at Thornbury Theatre. As usual, you can find all the info at their website here - http://www.thebohoball.com/

And then, from the man who brought you Mitch Jones, comes an exhibition of elegantly dark and scathing paintings. Clive Jones, my dad, is having his first ever solo show of his stunning paintings. 

We're performing at the opening, but i'd encourage anyone with an interest in old-school painterly talent and fatherly wit, to head down during the run and check it out. The show is called Ars Simia Naturae and the details of the opening are as below:

Thursday 28 October 6 - 9 pm

1000 £ Bend Gallery

361 Little Lonsdale Street

Melbourne City

Opening Address by Kristy Edmunds

Artistic Director, Park Avenue Armory, New York

Followed by live performances by Caravan of Dooom

and The Red Brigade

...

And for the time being - that's all from me good folks. I'm off to work at 8am tomorrow - again.
There's no rest for the wicked i guess. If you wanna play hard, you gotta work hard. (How many more cliches can i throw in here?)
oh yah..
IT'S BEEN REAL

Madmadmamdmadmadmadmadmadmadmadmadmadm LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE
(I'M FUCKING SERIOUS ABOUT THE LOVE)

RUIN